I’m sure you’re all bored to tears waiting for me to update tomorrow. I assure you that my post is actually on track for a morning publication. Scary I know.
Until then you can amuse yourselves with the Fifty Shades Generator. It advertises itself as “Terrible erotic fiction at the click of a button” and it is definitely worth a few button clicks for gems like this:
The unrelenting orgasms from his slut slayer plowing my gashtray made me come so hard, I began sweating like a midget nun at a penguin shoot. After having my ladytown pounded, he then proceeded to hammer my marmite motorway. The raiding makes me gush my minge monsoon all over his purple-headed trouser snake. If I don’t fish for pearls to get my beige slime seeping from my fuck trench, his giggle stick is going to leave my open-faced ham sandwich resembling the Japanese flag. My one slice toaster was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery.
Go check it out right now!