Saturday, May 28, 2011 – Christian Grey and the Day No One Cared About but We Had to Read Anyway

Here’s a super short bonus chapter:  Saturday, May 28, 2011.

Christian picks up his delighted and chattery younger excuse not to help Ana move, er, I mean sister at the airport. Mia chatters about France and cooking school and shopping and all manner of rich girl things. Christian has a flashback about Mia as a baby – which is moderately disturbing since he’s the one driving. Oh well, Mia just keeps on yapping and doesn’t even notice.

In the flashback Christian’s mother lets him hold baby Mia, and he loves her sooooo much that ‘Mia’ is his first word. The montage finishes up as Christian pulls into the driveway of his parents’ mansion, with Mia still talking. Phew! Everybody made it out alive!

Christian helps Mia carry her mountain of luggage into the house. Women! Amirite? Christian is disgusted by the maid, who makes ‘cow eyes’ at him. Women again! Amirite?! Huh? Huh?

amirite

Yeah, maybe Christian is just a gross asshole. It’s more than a remote possibility.

Christian goes to his personal trainer, goes jogging, and texts Elliot to find out Ana and Kate’s new address. He plans to send creepy stalker gifts to Ana, and presumably, dead animals to Kate, whom he hates with the white hot intensity of a thousand spoiled rich kids.

The riding crop, the one Christian ordered in the last chapter arrives. Did I mention that? Ana had a dream about a particular kind of riding crop so Christian ordered it as a surprise. Surprise motherfucker! He has the requisite Zapp Brannigan-esque thoughts, and then gets distracted by a phone call from Elena.

Now that he is totally not in love at all (it’s just an arrangement!) with Ana, for some reason he doesn’t want to talk to his old lover who’s been stringing him along all these years. Huh. Weird.

Then we skip to dinner with Mumsy and Dadsy at the mansion. The whole family gossips about who Christian’s new woman can possibly be. They giggle like school children at Christian’s expense. Gawd. No wonder he didn’t want to tell them about Ana. Elliot even exclaims loudly, “You know she popped his cherry?” Okay, Elliot is an adult man of nearly 30.

ew

It’s also interesting that, not only did his family think he was gay, they thought he was a gay virgin. Soooo…okay.

Elliot tries to stir up trouble by inviting Ana over for dinner at the mansion. Mumsy Grace strikes like a hungry wolverine – she wants to meet this woman! Christian doesn’t really give an answer and excuses himself before things can get weirder.

And that’s all she wrote. That is literally all she wrote.

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2 thoughts on “Saturday, May 28, 2011 – Christian Grey and the Day No One Cared About but We Had to Read Anyway

  1. You’re killing me! I need more installments of the series we love to hate. I know it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it. You’re not the hero we deserve, but the hero we NEED.

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