Celebrate 50-Shadesentine’s Day With This Horrific Cake

It’s Valentine’s Day, the queasiest time of the year! And Fifty Shades of Grey is being released in theatres. So why not celebrate with this terrifying Christian Grey cake?

ScaryCake

Are you scared? I’m scared. Hold me.

I just gave myself the jibblies.

Thanks to this lady for passing it along!

Source: The Star

 

 

Fifty Shades Teddy Bear Provides Evidence for the Restraining Order

Nothing says Overly Attached Girlfriend/Boyfriend like adults exchanging stuffed animals for, well, any of the various holidays but for Valentine’s Day in particular. But if the mere act of giving another adult a fluffy children’s toy doesn’t adequately convey the level of crazy you are going for, now you can buy a Fifty Shades of Grey Teddy Bear for your poor, unsuspecting SO.

The bear comes with a tiny masquerade mask and adorable little handcuffs. At only $89.99 you can dial the crazy all the way up to Fifty for a remarkably low price. And have adequate evidence on hand when it comes time to file for the restraining order!

50SOGTeddy

(The best part is the warning that this bear is not suitable for children. Blech!)

Source: The Vermont Teddy Bear Company (via Perez Hilton)

Something Fun: Fifty Shades Generator

I’m sure you’re all bored to tears waiting for me to update tomorrow. I assure you that my post is actually on track for a morning publication. Scary I know.

Until then you can amuse yourselves with the Fifty Shades Generator. It advertises itself as “Terrible erotic fiction at the click of a button” and it is definitely worth a few button clicks for gems like this:

The unrelenting orgasms from his slut slayer plowing my gashtray made me come so hard, I began sweating like a midget nun at a penguin shoot. After having my ladytown pounded, he then proceeded to hammer my marmite motorway. The raiding makes me gush my minge monsoon all over his purple-headed trouser snake. If I don’t fish for pearls to get my beige slime seeping from my fuck trench, his giggle stick is going to leave my open-faced ham sandwich resembling the Japanese flag. My one slice toaster was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery.

Go check it out right now!